So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize