hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
