the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
This is my gift to your gina
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
