I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
