You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize