Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
