i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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