Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
