He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
