ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
