i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
