I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
