put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
