so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
