There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize