oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I need to calm my uterus...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
