the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
