whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
