I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
