do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
