Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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