i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm passing your future prison.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
