im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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