I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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