i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
