My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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