You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
