You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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