I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
