Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize