she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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