My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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