garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Only a mothe r could love this liver
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize