Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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