Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
