I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
