I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
