good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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