She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize