That's intense
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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