is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
