i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
