the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i out mim tonsoeep
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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