Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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