You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
