Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
