Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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