I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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