I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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