We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
