bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I would ride that face into the sunset
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
