Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
