well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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