Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
