He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
