I wannas sexs uuuuu
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
