Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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