but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Less talking, more tequila
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
